So I think I have convinced the Moose that we need to have a second bubby.
I think his concerns were part financial, part my health, and part "oh my god how can we handle two?". All of which are valid.
How did I convince him? I have no fricken clue. I mentioned it a few times. I thought I was going to have to work at it hard and was just laying groundwork.
So here is the plan.
I am off the mini-pill. I went off it because I couldn't remember to take them at the same time and kept getting my period every second week, and ain't nobody got time for that shit (or money for tampons). We are still using condoms and will continue to do so. I will start charting again as soon as I can remember to do it in the mornings. I will try to lose some weight and work on my kegels like mad.
Once Bubs is one year old (in 3 months!!!), hopefully we will start weening her off the boob. At that time we will cease using condoms. If I am charting, we will chart. If not, I think we will just do a not preventing not trying but sort of trying to get the timing right.
I am pretty sure I will be able to get pregnant again. After all, charting my fertility (and peeing on lots of sticks at 9dpo, 10dpo, 11dpo, etc) revealed I was getting pregnant and losing them early. So statistically I will have a good chance of a few more early losses and that will suck, but I will be sure to get to the doc each time and push for some repeat pregnancy loss testing. With a little luck we will be up the duff by the time Bubs is 18 months. **I was told by most midwives to wait 18 months before trying, by a doctor and a midwife or two to wait 12 months, and by another doc to wait 6 months. And she was the older more experienced doctor!! I figured I would take the middle road, given my age and the Moose's, and the fact that it did take us two years to get a sticky bub.
If it doesn't happen because we either never get up the duff, or if we have too many losses (number I can handle yet to be determined), then we are shit out of luck. We won't qualify for publicly funded fertility treatments, and we won't be willing to dig deep into the pocket book (which we might have done if we hadn't had Bubs). So in that case it is one and done.
This is going to sound stupid and pessimistic, but I know if I get pregnant again I will get pre-eclampsia again. It is just an irrational feeling I have. Hopefully I don't get it and I am wrong. What I am banking on is that pre-eclampsia in a second pregnancy tends to happen later and be less severe. Bubs was born at 32 weeks. If the next one hangs on to 34, or better yet 36 or later, that would be great! Anecdotally speaking, the sister of a friend had her first at 34 weeks, her second at 36 and her third basically full term, pre-eclampsia in each even with an aspirin regime.
I am willfully forgetting all the anxiety of my pregnancy with Bubs. Will it return in a second one? I think so. I just think I would be so busy with Bubs I might not have too much time to think about it. And I have already googled everything pre-eclampsia related, so that's done. Pre-eclampsia aside, I had a really easy time with Bubs. Which I think means if I do get preggers again I will have to spend at least the first four months with my head in the loo. And the next however many with roids. I think it somehow balances the universe.
So I had intended to stop blogging, but since I might be back on the horse soon...maybe I will keep it going. Maybe I will blog about trying to get up the duff again.