Friday, 29 May 2015

Bubs is here! Born by emergency c section on Tuesday. She is doing well in the nicu and weighed in at just over a kilo! She is gorgeous and feisty and was off cpap within hours. The moose is an excellent daddy and has taken good care of us! I will save the whole story for some time when I have real interwebs and not my work phone! I will just add magnesium sulphate is unpleasant.

Monday, 25 May 2015

Back to the hospital...

Only this time we get to do the 3.5 hour drive in the aftermath of a snow storm.  Ack.  I was going to post pictures of the snow, but that will have to wait.

Blood pressure is high again and 2+ protein with a 3 kg weight gain overnight, so I am too risky to stay home at the moment (being at said distance from the hospital).  Hopefully the result will be the same as last time...a few nights with little sleep and bad food and then home with bubs still in the oven.

If not, then hey, I am 32 weeks.  Today.  That is not too terribly bad.

Ok, gots to hit the road before the slush turns to ice.

Thursday, 21 May 2015

First monitoring appointment

Bubs behaved herself for the CTG and didn't hide too much!  She is doing great still!  My blood pressure was 135/90, which is at least below 140/90.  They have been happy for it to be where it is anyway. 

My midwife knew about as much as I did regarding my hospitalization, so that was fun.  Hopefully she can track down a discharge report, and find out if the hospital is now arranging my ultrasounds (they did this upcoming one), and when I have to go back to meet with the specialist again.  And whatever else I couldn't tell her. 

Just waiting now on the results from today's urine and bloods.  Will update when I have them.  If it is anything like last week, they will be in tomorrow.  I am debating whether to pack a bag now just in case.  Or at least get a few things done off my to do list. 

So it does sound like if my blood pressure stays down and the other test results don't show anything getting worse, that we will induce at 38 weeks.  Sooner, of course, if Bubs or I start to have problems.  Which means that in just over 6 weeks (or less), there will be a baby.  That has totally blown my mind.  I think it just hasn't seemed all that real. 

Part of that is the fact that I don't feel overly pregnant.  Bubs is active, and moves around quite a bit, but I think I have gotten used to it, and since she rarely causes any actual pain or discomfort with her movements, it is easy to overlook it.  I can still bend over to clip my toe nails.  I can still see my feet.  I am not waddling.  In fact, the boss's wife asked me today if I had already had the baby.  From this pregnancy, I can totally see how some women never know they are pregnant.  Well, that was never an option for me (regular cycles and psychotic peeing on sticks and all), but I kind of get it. 

6 weeks or less until bubs!!  EEK!  There is so much work to do!!  Well, so many things I want to do.  My nesting urge is there, it just isn't enough to get me off the sofa most days.  So I guess it is a good thing that I am not allowed to work anymore.  My midwife has banned me.  I have a certificate.  I am not on any kind of strict bed rest (or I wasn't told I am anyway), so I think I can still clean the house and potter around.  Of course now I am cuddling Toffs, which is totally productive.  Apparently I can apply for some sort of financial assistance, so I don't need to start my maternity leave early.

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

My water addiction

I have a theory.  I am a water addict not a pre-eclamptic. 

Apparently if you drink too much fluid, you increase the proteins in your urine (according to Dr Google).  And I have always drank a lot of water.  Most normal days, I drink between 2 and 3 liters of water.  This doesn't count any coffee, tea, fizzy drinks (if I drink them), juice, or my more recent thing, milk shakes and breakfast drinks.  So maybe in the course of a normal day, I could easily pound 4 to 5 liters.  And in the summer it is more (I do work outside), and I can drink 3-4 liters just at work. the days leading up to hospitalization, I had been drinking a bit (a shit ton) more than I probably needed to, considering I was just chilling around the house and not actually at work.  So maybe that explains the high PCR that sent me to the hospital, and the fact that it dropped so quickly once I was there.

However, there are a few flaws in this theory.  They didn't test my PCR after they started the fluid restrictions, so really, I hadn't cut down that much on fluid by that time.  Also, I am always like this, and proteins haven't shown up in my wees before.

On the other hand, I have dropped a kilo or two (if the hospital scale and my home scale are in agreement, which they may not be), and the swelling has definitely gone down.  I still get sock imprints on my ankles (or cankles), and my wedding ring is tighter than pre-pregnancy (but not as tight as sausage finger night a few weeks ago), and I think my face is looking less puffy.  All this from restricting my fluid intake to 2 liters a day?

Apart from the obvious reason why I would love this theory to be correct, I kind of need to not have any pregnancy complications right now, because we are having cat complications.

Big Ginge is back.  The Moose is not good at remembering to lock up the cat food at night, and the two nights we were away plus the two nights I wasn't home to lock the food up have reminded that big bastard that he can get a free feed.  So he and Cleo have been scrapping, and Cleo took a bite to the rump (which I found five minutes after arriving home).  Thankfully it hasn't abscessed, but I took her to the vet anyway because it is no fun having a cone-head.  So a few injections and twice daily pills later...

And that brings us to Toffs.  The Moose can't express her bladder (he is too kind and can't dish out the tough love), so while he tried (and lived to tell the tale), he was unsuccessful while I was away.  And I have been struggling for awhile with her, if I am honest.  She tenses up and has the ab muscles of a body-builder, and I can tell lately that she is in some pain when I express her.  So, today was her day to go to the vet.  Thankfully she has no infections, but she does have blood in her urine, which is probably the result of stress.  The vets reckon it is because of the pregnancy...I think it is more likely to be Big Ginge.  Either way, we are changing her diet and giving her medicine now.

So...not only do I have to keep my own meds straight (ahem...had to count all the pills yesterday to figure out if I had taken any at lunch), I need to pill Cleo twice a day and put anti-inflammatory liquid on Toffs food and make sure she eats it once a day.  As well as keeping track of how much water I drink, I need to make sure I am slowly switching their food over to this fancy and ridiculously expensive food!!  And I have to take care of Big Ginge...

So, if my theory could just be right, and things stay nice and calm with no proteins and good bubs growth...that would be awesome.  Now, time for my next 325ml of water.  

Monday, 18 May 2015

Because I like to be different, I guess...

I am back home!!  Bubs is still where she belongs!!  And I honestly do not know what the hell happened.

Thursday night I was told to go to the hospital in the big city because there was protein my my urine, so I packed and cleaned and waited for the Moose to get home (he was a little late), and eventually we got down there about 9:30pm.  They took my blood pressure (it was high, I don't remember how high but not obscenely so), took some urine, took some blood, and hooked us up to a CTG to hear bubs heartbeat, and then medical students took down my history and checked my reflexes.  About 10:30 or 11 I was taken to my room (the first roommate was awesome but was discharged the next day...hoping for her that her cervix stays tight, she is a week or two shy of 30 weeks).  I didn't sleep all that well from the noise of the place, the uncomfortableness of the bed, the blood pressure checks throughout the night, and what was going to become a nasty sinus issue (which makes answering the question "Do you have a headache?" fun, because, yes, I do, but it goes from my nose through my jaw and into my ear, so I think I'm good thanks). 

The next day (Friday) they did all the tests again.  The anesthesiologist came to go through paperwork with me (he had time and they figured it is better to get it done when it isn't an emergency, I guess...also, he was about 12 years old and scrawny and seriously had the mustache of the monopoly man).  I sent the Moose home because it appeared likely that I wasn't going anywhere, and someone needed to take care of the cats (Toffs bladder needs expressing twice a day, though the Moose really struggles to get anything out of her at least it is better than nothing).  Evil roommate moved in.  Not sure what her problem was (something about ketones, I think), but her whole family was there, and she and her husband/partner/baby daddy kept yelling at their six year old (who obviously has some issues) to "shut your fucking face" everytime he got loud, which was ALL THE TIME.  Classy people.  And they stayed for HOURS.  Thankfully the next day she was discharged and I was put in my own room.  I was put on labetelol and fluid restrictions (2 liters...but they didn't decide this until lunch, and guess who was boredom drinking water??  Yeah, this girl.)

Saturday morning they mentioned discharging me in a few days if I stayed stable.  The midwives that night seemed to think I wasn't going anywhere and one was surprised they weren't weighing me, and measuring my urine output, so she started that up.  She really thought I would be in until induction.  I had to ask her if they had forgotten about me, as I hadn't even done a urine dipstick, but she said they had no orders to do one.  So at this point, throughout my stay, I have seen many midwives, a few doctors and students, and everyone is telling me something different.  They all seem to ask "Do you know why you're here?" and "Did someone explain this to you?" but honestly, everyone explained something a little different.  And I had to remind the midwives a few times about my meds being due (they would come to take my blood pressure and sometimes it was a little high, but I was overdue for the next pill).

Sunday the doctor said I would most likely be discharged on Monday.  Either way I needed the Moose to come back because I only had clean knickers to last to Tuesday.  The midwives arranged for us to tour the NICU (it was less scary than I thought it would be, and was actually a really calm, quiet place).  The midwives on Sunday night seemed to be more aware that I would be discharged.  My midwife finally called to see how I was doing.  The Moose arrived and promptly plopped on my bed and decided to take a nap.  And the daughter-in-law of a former coworker checked in to be induced at 38 weeks because her blood pressure was up, so we talked to them a while (turns out we have the same midwife).  By now, as a result of hospital air, my sinuses have reached a critical level of horrible.  What is back in there won't blow out without making my nose bleed, but will drip down my throat all night and make it feel like someone has mashed my lower face in with a bat. 

So Monday my blood pressure was measured (it is now down to about 120/80), and we did another CTG but it took two attempts because bubs was being naughty and hiding from the monitor (she did this Friday morning).  I was discharged.  I asked the doctor, who came to discuss the discharge, if it was preeclampsia (which is what they had been calling it from Thursday night), and she said "yes and no".  Apparently after I was admitted the protein levels in my urine dropped fast and by a lot, which is unusual.  And with my blood pressure now under control, we are just monitoring.  Bubs measuring small is a concern, and they are hoping with the blood pressure meds she will get a bit of a growth spurt.  If she falls behind or they start to see signs of head sparing, then she gets evicted.  If my blood pressure goes up, they will up my dosage (I am on a lower dose).  I suppose if my kidneys start throwing proteins, or any bloodwork turns up suspicious results, then I will be back in the hospital (I am seriously going to pack a bag now so I am prepared...and I may need to get more knickers).

So...I don't really have any clear answers, but the important thing is that bubs gets to stay put and keep growing for now, and I can be monitored from home twice a week.  So long as we are both doing well, all is good, and when things look a bit dodgy, then its bubs time.

And, now free from the hospital, my sinuses are happy(ier).

Also, I have to say, the hospital food was atrocious.  One or two yummy desserts, but honestly, I am not sure what I was eating half the time, but I was so hungry I didn't care. your hospital bag, always pack a little something to eat, just in case!

Saturday, 16 May 2015

quick update

I am writing this on my phone and have never done it before so sorry if it is hard to read. I am still in the hospital for monitoring. I have mild preeclampsia at this stage. If it doesn't get worse in the next few days I might get to leave! But we are taking things day to day. I am bored and I have an annoying roommate I will blog about later. I have limited interwebs and need to conserve to keep family back home posted. Important thing is that bubs and I are fine and at least at the moment bubs is staying put!

Thursday, 14 May 2015

First Admission

Yup.  Being admitted into big hospital in the big city.  Tonight.  It is 5:30 now.  Got the call to go down about an hour ago and have been racing around getting ready since.  It is just to monitor my BP overnight.  If it stays low enough, I get to go home in the morning, possibly with BP meds.  Fingers crossed. 

Houston, we have protein...

Yup.  My beautiful specimen of wee, so promisingly clear a sign of my wonderful hydration levels, has proven to have protein lurking about.  Stupid dipsticks not picking it up. 

The midwife won't call it pre-eclampsia, but I am sitting around now waiting for the specialist to call (because it is his or her job to diagnose I guess).  The midwife did say she believes my "hypertensive issues" will get worse.  So, yeah, might as well call it. 

I have cussed, and cried, and might do a bit more of both.  It is too fucking early for this.  Fine, if I am going to get this shit, let it wait until I am 37 weeks.  30 weeks 3 days is too early.  How long can we keep this bun in the oven before the oven starts to burn out??  This is a game of chicken I don't want to play! 

But on the bright side, bubs was doing well on that last ultrasound, and my liver and kidney functioning tests turned out fine.  That is more important than the protein.  So long as she keeps growing and those bad boys keep working...

...and on that note, I would like to add an apology to my liver for the abuse it took during my partying days.  Dude.  Sorry.  Please keep functioning.

...and to my kidneys...since I abused you far worse with bad nutrition and you paid me in kind with a kidney stone some 15 years ago, well, I think we have settled our differences and have lived a peaceful and fulfilling life together.  I drink an enormous amount of water for you.  I may not always watch my sodium content so well as I should, but when I do eat salty food, I drink more water.  We are totally good now.   Right?  Keep on rocking wit your bad selves.  Please. 

And now we wait for the specialist and to find out what is what and what we are going to do about it.  I will post again then.  In the meantime Cleo knows I am feeling shitty and has come to sit next to me on the couch and purr.  Or to dry off by the fire because she got caught outside in the rain.  I prefer to think her motives are selfless.  

Wednesday, 13 May 2015


The Moose had arranged for an electrician to come over around 8 this morning.

Moose (leaving for work): "No fraternizing with the electrician."

Me: "I don't fraternize with anyone."

The midwife was going to drop off her son at 8 and head over to retake my blood pressure.  When I hopped on the scale this morning (as I have been doing every morning), it was up at least a kilo and a half, maybe as much as 2 kg (I can see past my boobs and bump, I just can't quite tell which little line the thing is pointing to).  I don't seem to have much swelling, my clothes fit fine, and I haven't eaten a ton in the past few days, so maybe just a little backed up?  I think I did drink about 5-6 litres of water yesterday...  Of course I will mention this to the midwife...

...except the world's chattiest electrician arrives first and is up a ladder working on a light when the midwife arrives.  Perhaps I should have asked the midwife to come into another room, but honestly, not much point.  Our house is small and not exactly sound proof.  So I don't mention the weight gain, but I did fess up to the low-grade headache I've had for awhile (head cold, allergies, tension??), and I did get to pee in a cup to have a sample sent away (in the privacy of my own bathroom, the electrician was not there for that at least and proving how well hydrated I am, the sample was nearly clear).  Blood pressure is still high at 150/95.  The midwife is going to chase down the blood work she took yesterday, and get back to me.  I will be referred to a specialist.  How quickly depends on the results of the blood and urine test.  If those turn out not so good I will be in the big city tomorrow or the next day.  Otherwise it will be in a week or so.  Just have to wait and see. 

So I copy my passport for the midwife (with all my residence details so I don't have to pay for anything with the referral), and while I am doing this the electrician starts chatting away to her (his sister is a midwife in the big city).  The midwife takes the papers and leaves.

Then this happens:

Electrician:  "'re pregnant?"

Me (glance at inadequate sized bump):  "Yeah, nearly 8 months."

Electrician:  "Wow!  You don't look it!"

Me <sigh>

Electrician goes on to say I am fit, healthy, etc etc.  Finally I figure what the hell, he has already sat through my midwife appointment, he may as well hear my medical history (after all, I am sharing it publicly here).

Me:  "The baby is measuring small and I have developed high blood pressure."

Electrician:  "You know I've had a bit of a headache lately too.  I think there is just something going around."

Me:  (thinking to myself but nearly said it out loud: "You probably don't have pre-eclampsia") Out loud: "Yeah, hope that is all it is."

Electrician:  "If you want a second opinion my sister is a midwife."

Me (OHGOODGOD):  "I'm getting a referral because this could develop into a serious condition and my midwife is very cautious.  She is very good."

Electrician:  "Wow, you seem really calm about this."

Me:  "Yeah...."

And then, after a few hours of chatting about politics, small town life, and everything else under the sun as three new lights are installed and 5 switch plates replaced, the electrician leaves his jersey behind.  So hopefully the Moose doesn't suspect any fraternizing if the guy doesn't come back to get it. 

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Hey there ugly shoe *Updated

I wanted to find the ugliest shoe in the world.  There is a problem though.  There are too many to choose from.  Ones that look like lobster claws (only snakeskin, naturally), some blend of an Ugg and a Croc (so that is what they would spawn if you left them alone in the closet), some fish sandal (seriously, like a flounder with the thongy bit), and some scary set of spiky heels with TEETH.  I couldn't choose which ugly shoe most resembles that shoe hanging above my head.  But google "ugliest shoe in the world" and check out the images.  It is worth it.

My blood pressure was 150/100, on the third attempt, after I had been sent off to go do something else for awhile.  And that was the lowest.  I don't know what it had been up to, I was afraid to ask.  At least my urine is clean.  But the midwife is coming to my house tomorrow to check everything again and discuss.  She took more bloods (and left me with a good bruise).  And turns out the Maternal Serum Screen was a mistake (not sure how?), although she is curious to see the results now. 

Bubs is still measuring small.  Her growth may have fallen off a bit, but we have to wait for the official ultrasound report to be sure.  She seems to have enough fluid, the umbilical flow looked good, her heart rate is fine, but we are measuring 2 weeks behind on average.  Ultrasounds will be continuing into the future.

Either way, I am being referred to a specialist.  In the city 3 and a half hours away.  My midwife will continue to be my LMC, but I suppose the specialist will decide what to do with me.  And I think I can safely kiss the birth center one town over goodbye.

So I am not feeling like that other shoe has dropped.  Not yet.  But it has definitely lowered a tiny bit. 

Update:  Official ultrasound report is that bubs has grown appropriately.  She may be small, but she is still growing at a good rate!  Grow bubs, Grow!!

Monday, 11 May 2015

Well...this post turns into an anxiety-riddled rant...caution advised if you don't want to see where my head is at. With Update!

The midwife has been up to her elbows in vag again.  Must have been a doozy, since she has cancelled all appointments for the next two days.  I will have to wait until Wednesday.

This isn't really a problem, except I took today off work, and have to take at least half a day tomorrow for the ultrasound, and now I will have to take probably the whole day Wednesday off.  Not just on account of pregnancy related crap either.  We have a glazier coming today or tomorrow to fix our badly cracked glass window on the back door (the Moose left it open when it was windy, it slammed, and bam, 4 massive cracks...I added a fifth by kicking the cat flap to stop a fight between Toffs, who just made it in the house, and some little grey cat who got the full force of cat flap and slipper).  And Wednesday we have the electrician coming to fix some power outlets and install some lights (old ones broke ages ago...we've just been too lazy to get it done).  So 3 days of vacation wasted now.  I was hoping to save as much of that for maternity leave as possible.  I took 4 days last week...might only have another 7 days left now. 

I am lucky though, in that I live in a country where I will get paid maternity leave (80% of my wages).  16 weeks of it.  Plus unpaid to fill out one year, if I want it.  And my boss said I can have a few years off if I want, that my job will be secure.  Granted I am just a low level supervisor in contract vineyard work...even if I lost that job I could probably find another.  And I think I may be extra lucky in that I saw something online saying I get 10 days paid special leave, to use for antenatal appointments or whatever.  Not sure how that works, but I may have to go chat with the boss and see how to use this.  Especially since I am sure I am not done with the growth ultrasounds.

All this would probably be more tolerable at the moment if I hadn't worked myself into such a frenzy of anticipation last night, and in the last few days.  I've been feeling a bit under the weather and think I might be fighting off a head head feels like a balloon being inflated!  Not always, and it isn't painful, but ugh.  Stuffy nose that just won't empty.  And I get puffed easily doing anything.  And a supermarket lady who I see fairly regularly didn't know I was pregnant!!  I still don't look pregnant!!!  I AM 30 WEEKS!!  My bump is puny and pathetic and my bubs is SGA and who knows if it is just because of small babies or if there are problems and I would feel so much better if I could just pee on a stick today and get my blood pressure taken already!!!!  And I went on facebook, and Mother's Day, which has always been a non-event for me, is everywhere and I AM TAGGED ON THAT SHIT.  I am not a mother yet, don't feckin' JINX ME!!  

Ok, I feel better now that all the irrational crazy shit storming about in my head is out.  Panic over.  But now my head hurts.  I have a bad habit of clenching my jaw when I get tense, or grinding my teeth in my sleep, and I think I have been doing a bit of that lately.  I think I'll go put google to good use and search some relaxation techniques.  Or maybe catch and cuddle Cleo. 

UPDATE:  The midwife wants to see me tomorrow after the ultrasound (I text her that Wednesday would be fine and then she was all "maybe if I come through town" so I told her I am off work for a few days) AND the glass guys turned up and will fix the glass today!!  And after I spazzed and freaked out that bubs wasn't moving enough, I leaned forward (she hates that) and got my 10 kicks in 10 minutes.  I probably would have been more aware of her movements if I hadn't been in the midst of freaking out.  I am such a spaz.  I feel so much better now.  And the headache is nearly gone.  

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Conversation between the Moose and his mother (or how not to do Mother's Day)

* Important note:  The Moose's Mum is 86 years old and lives in a rest home.  She is partial sighted and going deaf.  And perhaps is a wee bit clueless at times (or too trusting for this world).

<I am having a "nap" in bed while this takes place and can hear everything because the Moose practically shouts so his mum can hear>.

Moose: "Time to give the cats their dinner.  Toffee, Cleo, Dinner!  How about Chicken and Turkey?" <sounds of pantry opening, single packet of wet food being shaken...Toffs and Cleo share one a day).  "Mum, would you like some Chicken and Turkey?"

Mum:  (brief pause) "Oh...ok."

Moose:  "Toffee, Grandma's going to have some of your dinner.  Hope she doesn't eat it all.  How does Chicken and Turkey sound, mum?"

Mum:  "That sounds good."

Moose:  "Ok, here you are.  Do you want a spoon or do you want to just slurp it up?"

Mum:  "Oh, I'd better have a spoon."

Moose:  "Ok, I'll get you a spoon."

Me:  <from the bedroom> "You had better not be feeding your mother cat food!"

Moose:  "Here you go, mum."  <Pause> "That's cat food."

Mum:  " food?"

(last two lines are actually repeated a few times)

Moose:  "That's Toffee and Cleo's dinner, don't eat it!"  <pause>  "Maybe you'd prefer some Chicken and Duck."

Mum:  <chuckles>  "That would be good."

Moose:  "Here you go Mum" <presumably handing packet of food to his mum>.

Mum:  "Oh...Moose, how do I open it?"

Moose:  "That's cat food Mum!" <presumably takes it back>

Mum:  "Oh...I thought it was chocolate."

Moose:  <laughing at his mum>  "You thought it was chocolate?"

Me:  <still from the bedroom>  "You are the worst son EVER!"  <pause>  "Maybe she'd rather have some Temptations..."  (because really, I am no better than the Moose)

I would like to note that I do not endorse feeding your mother cat food on Mother's Day.  Or any other day. 

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Dear Cheesecake

I love you and we can continue to see each other.  Except I will never make one again as beautiful as the one I made the other day.  So perhaps we should see other desserts.

I passed the GTT.  I expected to pass it, but I did not expect to feel so much relief at having the results in. 

All the same, I should probably reign in the naughty eating a bit.  I did pretty well the first half of this pregnancy.  I need to do better now. 

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Freak out number...oh, really, who is counting anymore?

I managed to delay this latest bout of google-induced freak out until about 4pm yesterday, as the perfect cheesecake was sitting in the oven with the door ajar (seriously, I didn't even crack the top...I always crack the top!!).

When I went in for the glucose tolerance test yesterday the lab didn't have the orders for it from the midwife.  What they did have was orders for a maternal serum screening test.  So they wanted to know if I had got the scan done.  I insisted I was there to drink yucky sugar water and lounge about in the big comfy chair, and knew nothing about the MSS and that my scan was next week.  The midwife was called, the orders for the GTT found, and nothing more mentioned about the MSS.  I had that done in the first trimester, and am low risk for any chromosomal abnormalities, so I thought maybe just a paperwork mistake.  Except the orders got filed back into the shoe box they were taken out of (not an actual shoe box).  I made a note to myself to google that shit.

And then I didn't.  I went shopping, had some lunch, made a gorgeous cheesecake...and then thought oh yeah, I was going to hop on google.  Why do an MSS in the third trimester??

Oh, to screen for preeclampsia and IUGR and other adverse maternal outcomes.  Hello shoe above my head, I had almost forgotten you for a few days.

There were actually some pretty interesting studies on it all, and how effective these biochemical markers are at predicting early/late onset PE when taken even in the first or second trimester.  Yes, I pulled out my results, and yes, they are borderline for indicating there could be problems.  At least the results that were printed out...there are apparently a whole list of biochemical markers, but I only had my free HCG and PAPP-A to look at.  And when the test is taken with a scan between weeks 30-33 it can give a good indication of the development of PE and early delivery within a particular time frame.

I am glad the midwife is looking out for me and is on to this.  I wish she would have mentioned it so I could have googled it last week and enjoyed just a single freak out...but maybe she did say something.  I am not always good at listening.  I meet with her on Monday before the scan anyway, so I will ask her about it and find out what kind of results she is hoping to get and what they will mean and that she will probably have to walk me through it so I don't go googling.  Or she will have to give me a copy so I can interpret away with the help of Dr. Google.   

So yesterday I was frustrated and anxious and nearly in tears, but I am feeling better today.  One day at a time.  I can't do anything to control this, or improve our chances, and being an anxious mess isn't helping.

I may, however, have to order some pee sticks.  Yes, I found them online a few weeks ago.  I can get my own to check for protein in the urine.  At first I was like "pff, no way" but now I am thinking "hmm...I do love to pee on things...".  Not sure what level of crazy that puts me at.  And I may have to google PE and GD, just to see what happens if you get both.  I still am not worried about GD (at least you can do something about that with diet, exercise or insulin), and I still will be shocked if I have it, but now I am curious.  What does happen?  And since the odds of having both must be pretty small, I am sure I can avoid another freak out.  This is purely academic.  I can rationalize anything.  (UPDATE: Bad idea, bad bad idea.  No freak out, but GD can increase the chances of PE, and in some cases GD can cause SGA instead of LGA).

Hopefully the next freak out will be more along the lines of "holy shit there will be a baby here in 10 weeks!!".

Oh, and one more thing on this already long post, something that the Moose noticed and brought up yesterday.  The women in our antenatal class don't seem to know a whole hell of a lot about being pregnant.  They ask all sorts of questions about the stages of labour (stuff I have already googled the shit out of and am confident in) and seem to be more worried about getting to the hospital in time rather than about all the stuff I worry about.  I told the Moose it is all about the infertility.  Repeat early losses and a long time to get a pregnancy to stick led to my becoming an arm-chair gynecologist/RE.  I am now working my way to being an arm-chair maternal-fetal medicine specialist.  Got to have a hobby.  Which makes me wonder what these normal women get up to in their spare time.  I think they actually sleep more than 7 hours a night.

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Week off!!

The rest of the week, that is.  I worked Monday.  That is the magical thing about working in agriculture.  Once all the bustle of harvest is over, there is a bit of down time.  There is still work, but it isn't necessary for all of us to be there.  And taking bird nets off vines is hard work not overly fit for pregnancy.  At least not pregnancy at 29 weeks.  The Moose should get Thursday and Friday off, provided he can finish the nets on the vineyard he is working in now.  We will head to the city to do some more bubs shopping, and bring his mum back with us for the weekend.  That is the plan anyway.

I did my glucose tolerance test today.  It wasn't so bad as the challenge test, or at least I didn't have much of a sugar high.  Time passed quick and then it was done!  Now I just wait and see I guess.  I turned on the computer for the express purpose of searching for a salted caramel cheesecake recipe (and promptly got distracted).  Potential last naughty food for a while must be something I love, and I love cheesecake, even if I probably only eat it once a year.  The Moose will eat most of it anyway.  So long as I don't mention the "salt" in the caramel, because that freaks him out for some reason. names....


We haven't gotten very far on this.  For lots of reasons, but mostly we just don't agree on many.  I have this thing about very popular names, and while I really do like a lot of the names making the top 10 (or 25, or 50) these days, I just don't want to do that to our little girl.  My name was in the top 10 back in the day, and there are so many of in point: there are 8 couples in our antenatal class...and 3 out of 8 of us ladies have the same name.  Spelled the same too.  I HATE it.  I don't mind my name itself, I just hate that every other girl has the same name!!  The Moose, who also has a name that is fairly common amongst his age group, doesn't seem to get it. 

Anyway, Kate can keep Charlotte for the new princess.  That name was never in the running because it is so popular already.  It is a nice name, but no.  No Olivia, Emma, Ava...I can't even remember what else. 

For the record, I don't want an unusual name either.  No strange spellings, blended names, none of that.  Something normal, classic, and where maybe she won't be one of six in her class. 

Sunday, 3 May 2015

29 Weeks **Updated at the bottom

...In less than 5 hours.  I think I can safely jump the gun on this one.

Not much to report, except the gas (the poor, poor Moose...) and heartburn (seriously??  everything I eat!!  Small meals, large meals, bland food, EVERYTHING...damnitall!).

No test results yet.  The midwife said she would call with them (or text, as she usually does), but I haven't heard from her, so I will text her tomorrow and hopefully it is just a case of her being too busy to pass on the good news that I will have passed everything.  Hopefully she has been up to her elbows in vaginas. 

The midwife also arranged another ultrasound, and the radiology department sent my appointment which I need to call to confirm...only somewhere, between the mailbox and the sofa, the Moose lost it.  Without having opened it to read the date.  Can't find it anywhere.  So I will get to call them tomorrow as well, which should be fun because they are rude as hell on the phone.  I bet they will love paging through each day of appointments in their book (yes, it seems this is how they do it), looking for me.

I've had a repeat of my dream Braxton-Hicks.  Or something.  All I know is it hurt like hell, but it must have been a dream, because I would have been up and googling shit had it been real.  

Tomorrow is the last day of harvest too, THANKGOD.  Not sure I can take much more. 


The midwife was totally up to her elbows in vaj!  I got a phone call last night at 9pm as I was heading off to bed.  The good news: all my scary labwork came back normal.  The less good news: I failed the glucose challenge test.  I take the glucose tolerance test tomorrow.  I am not worried about this at all.  I have gained weight slowly and steadily despite eating plenty of naughty foods (yes, hate me, I am fine with that...I know karma, that bitch will come around and smack me with a massive weight gain late in the game...or GD now...).  Also bubs is measuring two weeks behind, SGA not LGA, so to me it seems unlikely that I have GD.  If I do turn out to have GD, the diet alone will probably drop me back at my pre-pregnancy weight before I deliver.  And while I know it probably doesn't work this way, if GD could cause bubs to gain a bit more...well...that would probably be a good thing at this stage.  Even if I have to kiss my salted caramel sauce on vanilla ice cream goodbye.