Saturday, 9 May 2015

Conversation between the Moose and his mother (or how not to do Mother's Day)

* Important note:  The Moose's Mum is 86 years old and lives in a rest home.  She is partial sighted and going deaf.  And perhaps is a wee bit clueless at times (or too trusting for this world).

<I am having a "nap" in bed while this takes place and can hear everything because the Moose practically shouts so his mum can hear>.

Moose: "Time to give the cats their dinner.  Toffee, Cleo, Dinner!  How about Chicken and Turkey?" <sounds of pantry opening, single packet of wet food being shaken...Toffs and Cleo share one a day).  "Mum, would you like some Chicken and Turkey?"

Mum:  (brief pause) "Oh...ok."

Moose:  "Toffee, Grandma's going to have some of your dinner.  Hope she doesn't eat it all.  How does Chicken and Turkey sound, mum?"

Mum:  "That sounds good."

Moose:  "Ok, here you are.  Do you want a spoon or do you want to just slurp it up?"

Mum:  "Oh, I'd better have a spoon."

Moose:  "Ok, I'll get you a spoon."

Me:  <from the bedroom> "You had better not be feeding your mother cat food!"

Moose:  "Here you go, mum."  <Pause> "That's cat food."

Mum:  " food?"

(last two lines are actually repeated a few times)

Moose:  "That's Toffee and Cleo's dinner, don't eat it!"  <pause>  "Maybe you'd prefer some Chicken and Duck."

Mum:  <chuckles>  "That would be good."

Moose:  "Here you go Mum" <presumably handing packet of food to his mum>.

Mum:  "Oh...Moose, how do I open it?"

Moose:  "That's cat food Mum!" <presumably takes it back>

Mum:  "Oh...I thought it was chocolate."

Moose:  <laughing at his mum>  "You thought it was chocolate?"

Me:  <still from the bedroom>  "You are the worst son EVER!"  <pause>  "Maybe she'd rather have some Temptations..."  (because really, I am no better than the Moose)

I would like to note that I do not endorse feeding your mother cat food on Mother's Day.  Or any other day. 


  1. hahaha. Did Moose get his sense of humour from his mom?

    1. I have no idea where he got his sense of humour from, but it seems to be a one of a kind Moose thing!