Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Freak out number...oh, really, who is counting anymore?

I managed to delay this latest bout of google-induced freak out until about 4pm yesterday, as the perfect cheesecake was sitting in the oven with the door ajar (seriously, I didn't even crack the top...I always crack the top!!).

When I went in for the glucose tolerance test yesterday the lab didn't have the orders for it from the midwife.  What they did have was orders for a maternal serum screening test.  So they wanted to know if I had got the scan done.  I insisted I was there to drink yucky sugar water and lounge about in the big comfy chair, and knew nothing about the MSS and that my scan was next week.  The midwife was called, the orders for the GTT found, and nothing more mentioned about the MSS.  I had that done in the first trimester, and am low risk for any chromosomal abnormalities, so I thought maybe just a paperwork mistake.  Except the orders got filed back into the shoe box they were taken out of (not an actual shoe box).  I made a note to myself to google that shit.

And then I didn't.  I went shopping, had some lunch, made a gorgeous cheesecake...and then thought oh yeah, I was going to hop on google.  Why do an MSS in the third trimester??

Oh, to screen for preeclampsia and IUGR and other adverse maternal outcomes.  Hello shoe above my head, I had almost forgotten you for a few days.

There were actually some pretty interesting studies on it all, and how effective these biochemical markers are at predicting early/late onset PE when taken even in the first or second trimester.  Yes, I pulled out my results, and yes, they are borderline for indicating there could be problems.  At least the results that were printed out...there are apparently a whole list of biochemical markers, but I only had my free HCG and PAPP-A to look at.  And when the test is taken with a scan between weeks 30-33 it can give a good indication of the development of PE and early delivery within a particular time frame.

I am glad the midwife is looking out for me and is on to this.  I wish she would have mentioned it so I could have googled it last week and enjoyed just a single freak out...but maybe she did say something.  I am not always good at listening.  I meet with her on Monday before the scan anyway, so I will ask her about it and find out what kind of results she is hoping to get and what they will mean and that she will probably have to walk me through it so I don't go googling.  Or she will have to give me a copy so I can interpret away with the help of Dr. Google.   

So yesterday I was frustrated and anxious and nearly in tears, but I am feeling better today.  One day at a time.  I can't do anything to control this, or improve our chances, and being an anxious mess isn't helping.

I may, however, have to order some pee sticks.  Yes, I found them online a few weeks ago.  I can get my own to check for protein in the urine.  At first I was like "pff, no way" but now I am thinking "hmm...I do love to pee on things...".  Not sure what level of crazy that puts me at.  And I may have to google PE and GD, just to see what happens if you get both.  I still am not worried about GD (at least you can do something about that with diet, exercise or insulin), and I still will be shocked if I have it, but now I am curious.  What does happen?  And since the odds of having both must be pretty small, I am sure I can avoid another freak out.  This is purely academic.  I can rationalize anything.  (UPDATE: Bad idea, bad bad idea.  No freak out, but GD can increase the chances of PE, and in some cases GD can cause SGA instead of LGA).

Hopefully the next freak out will be more along the lines of "holy shit there will be a baby here in 10 weeks!!".

Oh, and one more thing on this already long post, something that the Moose noticed and brought up yesterday.  The women in our antenatal class don't seem to know a whole hell of a lot about being pregnant.  They ask all sorts of questions about the stages of labour (stuff I have already googled the shit out of and am confident in) and seem to be more worried about getting to the hospital in time rather than about all the stuff I worry about.  I told the Moose it is all about the infertility.  Repeat early losses and a long time to get a pregnancy to stick led to my becoming an arm-chair gynecologist/RE.  I am now working my way to being an arm-chair maternal-fetal medicine specialist.  Got to have a hobby.  Which makes me wonder what these normal women get up to in their spare time.  I think they actually sleep more than 7 hours a night.


  1. Ack, stress! I hope your midwife appointment provides answers and makes the temptation to google less. I know, people who get pregnant easily can have a whole different mindset. I think it's a matter not only of getting and staying pregnant easily, but mainly associating with others who do as well. I hope the rest of your week is more pleasant. Tests and monitoring can increase anxiety, although they are done for a good purpose.

    1. I try to remind myself that it is better to over-test and have no problems than have a problem go undiagnosed! Having a week off work has definitely helped with the stress too! I've gotten stuff done around the house and feel almost human again! And since I have over-googled, there is not much left to google anyway so I think that has run its course too.

  2. Another friend is using the protein test strips. I have it bookmarked for later in my pregnancy. I get it. I totally do.