Mind games

Reasons no longer being pregnant can sometimes be a mind-fuck (and still is 9 months later):

1. I look more pregnant now that I did when I was pregnant.  My tum is rather gravity defying too (but definitely more slouch-y than when I was preggers).
2. My sense of smell is still insane.  Someone lit a cigarette on the other side of town?  I can smell it.  Hold bubs, I can smell you on her clothes for hours.  I can smell Bubs' solid foods long after she has eaten them (I suspect on my nips from her post-solid breast feed).
3. Gag.  Gaggy gag gag gag.  Foods I used to like I can no longer eat.  Goodbye Jimmy's pies. 
4. What the hell was that?  Is this gas?  Are we sure there isn't something in here?  What the hell did they do to my insides to make them feel all fluttery and kick-like?  Seriously two or three days after Bubs was evicted there were ghost kicks going on down there.  And from time to time, I still feel them.  My uterus is haunted.
5. I waddle.  Ok, that has to do with weight gain and time spent on the floor playing with Bubs.  I can fix this.
6. I leak pee.  Yup, still working on those kegels.  Also, this is totally not fair because I delivered at 32 weeks the size of a baby at 28 weeks via the sunroof.  This means my ute has not really experienced a third trimester!!  Ergo what the fuck pelvic floor.  
7. Where is my mind?  Serious baby brain is not so different from pregnancy brain.  The other day I got all confused when we got a note from the vet saying Toffs was due for her annual check up.  Because she gets those early in the year, not at the end of the year.  Because clearly February is the end of the year.  Ugh.  There have been others.  Oh so many others.  

As hilarious as it would be to go from infertile to sub-fertile to "I didn't know I was pregnant", I have peed on sticks (snowy white), I get my period regularly and have since 7 weeks postpartum.  I can count on two hands the number of post-bubs bonks, of which protection was used and timing was likely off.  Maybe I am a weirdo, but there have been many times when I have thought to myself, "Am I?". 


*I am not.