Sunday, 28 February 2016

Sleeping like a baby

I have a huge problem with the expression "sleep like a baby".  It is supposed to mean sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world, all peaceful expressions and loveliness. 

(Just after typing the above, Bubs woke up.  Half an hour after she had been put to bed.)

Bubs sleeps a total of 11 hours in any 24 hour period, on average.  If she naps for 1 hour, there will be 10 hours of sleep overnight.  If she naps for 3 hours, there will be 8 hours of sleep.  We are up anytime between 6 and 8 am, often nap for half an hour in the morning, and then have an afternoon nap of 1-3 hours after lunch.  No napping is allowed after 4:30pm, except 10 minute cat naps at the boob if she is really really grumpy (doesn't happen often and I don't count it as part of her daily total).  Then we have a bath at 8:30, then a feed to sleep and she is in her cot by 9:30.  Almost every night she wakes up 30 minutes to an hour after going to sleep.  Sometimes I can resettle her by touch, but most of the time it is a quick feed back to sleep.  She wakes at least once overnight, anytime from 1am to 5am.  I change her, feed her, and try to resettle her into her cot.  When that doesn't work (and it usually doesn't), she comes into bed with me and punches me in the face for a good half an hour before she finally goes back to sleep.  Waking up in the morning takes I think about an hour of being awake a few minutes and falling back asleep for maybe 5 minutes and repeating that over and over.  I do count that as a part of her 11 hours of sleep.

I started writing all this stuff down awhile back because I was concerned about how much sleep she wasn't doing.  I mean, babies her age should be sleeping something like 14-16 hours?  Something like that.  I don't remember and I am not willing to look it up. 

My goals for her are to go to sleep without being fed to sleep, and to sleep full time (or nearly full time) in her cot.  And take her naps in the cot.  And for me to go back to sleeping with the Moose instead of on a bed in Bubs' room.  I have done very little to get to those goals as of yet.  I don't have much of a plan, and kind of want her to take the lead.  We both nap on the couch, and even though I have things to do, I would prefer to nap in all my drool-ly glory than actually accomplish something.  And with harvest coming up, it will be less disruptive to the Moose if I am in the same room as Bubs.  And I could maybe resettle her in the cot every time but it would involve a lot of back and forth with feeding and standing over the cot trying to resettle her.  Mostly I would rather get punched in the face for half an hour in my warm bed.

I tried a little bit of sleep training, but I honestly don't think it will work for us.  She cried for so long she could hardly breathe and sobbed for ages after that, even when sleeping.  I don't want to do that to her, and I don't want to do that to myself.  I was really upset about it, I think because I sort of thought sleep training would be like the holy grail of getting her to sleep the way I want her to.  That it would answer all my wishes/goals.  It stressed me out to no end.

Then a week ago (maybe two?) I stopped worrying about it.  I figure the important part is that she gets the sleep she seems to need, and I think she does.  I think 11 hours are all she needs.  She is not a cranky overtired bubby.  A lot of what I deem her being grumpy is actually her getting bored or frustrated with a toy (or her getting annoyed that I haven't noticed the sneak poo she did half an hour ago and is now plastered to bum and nappy).  I am getting enough sleep at the moment, and I know that teething and the inevitable colds/flu/bugs going around will shake that up and put me back at sleep deprivation.  And it is ok.  It won't last. 

It seems like most the blogs I follow with babies close to bubs age have had sleep problems as well.  It does make me feel better knowing others are suffering too <evil grin>.  And hey, we were lucky.  Bubs slept like a champ for her first 4 or 5 months or so.  I used to have set my alarm to make sure she was up for her feeds.  And we still are lucky in that when she wakes up in the middle of the night she is happy and she doesn't cry.  Many times she resettles quickly and we are usually up only half an hour, maybe an hour, in the middle of the night. 

But I think I will still want to punch the person who says that someone "sleeps like a baby" in the face.  Unless of course, they use it to mean sleep like a real baby.  You know, not at all. 


  1. AJ went through a rough spot around 7-9 months. We really did nothing, just supported each other and adapted, much like you are describing. The one thing I made an effort to do was wean her off night feeding after 12am. I think if you are getting enough sleep and so is Bubs then don't worry. Not all babies sleep 12-16 hours, that actually sounds like a lot. I would never claim to have the answers but based on my experience I believe in patience. Sleep training works fir some babies (abd there are times I let AJ cry for a few minutes because I'm exhausted and it seems better to let her tire herself out rather than constantly soothing. But generally speaking why would you do something that stresses you and your child out more? Seems like the wrong approach if the goal is more rest and sleep.

    I am baffled by sleep like a baby too. Unless it means that when they go to sleep, they do so without worry ir guilt or misgivings.

    1. Yes, I think I was taking sleep like a baby a bit too literally! Ha ha. I think your approach is a good one. And I do let Bubs cry sometimes for the same reason. And I think sometimes we just need a cry.